Monday, June 1, 2009

The Gift of Being Taken for Granted

Don't you hate being taken for granted?   When I was a younger social worker working in a community mental health center, many many years ago,  I had a sign on my desk: "Will work for Acknowledgement."    It was just a joke, sort of.    
As parents we complain about being taken for granted.    We complain that our children don't appreciate us and all the hard work we do for them day in and day out.   We want acknowledgement.   We want to be told 'thanks mom (or dad) for fixing me a delicious lunch, or taking me to the doctor, or letting me live in this great house!'    But we usually aren't told.   We may teach our children to be grateful.  But this is just good manners,  not the same as true appreciation. 

Well, here's the thing.   Children who take their parents for granted are in pretty good shape.  That means that the kids don't even have to think 'Will there be dinner on the table tonight?' or 'Will dad make my lunch this morning?' or 'Will mom be sober enough to read me a story at bed time?' or 'Will I be seeing dad.....ever?'

Children who are in a situation to NOT take their parents for granted are essentially in a dangerous or neglectful environment.   By our very nature we take things for   granted when they occur regularly and consistently.   Just ask any husband of a loving wife or vice a versa.   

So, the next time you are feeling put upon by your offspring consider this, being taken for granted is a gift.    It's the gift of knowing that your children know in their bones you will be there.   It's like the air they breath.