Setting Boundaries comes with a cost

There is always a price to pay for setting boundaries with others. This is especially true when heretofore the boundaries have been inconsistent, nebulous or virtually non existent. A client is trying to figure out how to tell her best friend that she is tired of being walked on and taken for granted. My client is worried that this may endanger the relationship. I had to tell her that it most definitely will endanger the relationship. If she chooses to alter the current arrangements with her friend, to demand more respect, reciprocity and equality then the relationship as it is will most certainly die. The price she will pay may be the ending of a friendship and increased social isolation and loneliness. She has to decide if the price and risk are worth it. She says she fed up and knows that things can not go on as they have, but she is nervous and worried that she will become too angry or 'ugly' toward her friend.

My client says she is going to think about it, write about it and the decide how to proceed. For now she is keeping her distance (but still letting her friend use her car free of charge!).

I'm curious to see what she decides. My client is a sweet, shy woman who feels generally cut off from others. To stand up for herself and risk losing one of the few close friends she has will take a lot of courage.