My son and some others tells me that the writer Ann Patchett (Bel Canto) spoke at his school this week. She was apparently very entertaining and funny and easily had the whole student body's attention. She had two pieces of life advice:
Be Kind
Be Brave
Wow, it's hard to imagine a more meaningful and economically stated piece of wisdom. In effort to connect everything to DBT I would like to point out a couple of things.
Being Kind does not mean 'be nice to people you like'. Rather it is directing us to show compassion and empathy to those we don't like That is hard. That means stepping out of our comfort zone, letting go of judgment, feeling the discomfort, and connecting with another. Hard stuff. But also not without it's rewards. For a moment we let go of our problems, of our suffering and focus compassionately on another. We step out of our own 'narcissism of the afflicted' and see that the world indeed does not revolve around us. This is both a true kindness to the other and a true kindness to ourselves.
Being Brave does not mean have 'no fear'. To be brave we accept and embrace our fear, as we try to do with all our emotions, and we let our wisdom direct us. Bravery and courage would not exist without fear. The terms would be meaningless. Any time we step out of our comfort zone we are performing a brave act. We take the risk, we accept that failure is a real possibility and we open ourselves up to new possibilities. Being brave is being vulnerable.
Just some thoughts on my way to work today.
Mindfully
EB
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