You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.--John Kabat-Zinn

I read that quote the other day while getting a presentation together. It's a nifty little nugget of truth. Acceptance of what is is hard. As parents we live in a world full of danger and risk, we watch as our children, especially our teens, venture out into that world. We want to keep them safe, protected, innocent....but we cannot. We can choose to rage, rage at the world and its uncontrollable, unpredictable and, in the end, inevitable influence upon our children or like the surfer, we can find ways to make it work for us and our children. We can accept reality; the reality of growth (often in ways we didn't for see), the reality of difference (our children are not us), the reality of risk. But we can also engage in that reality. We can at once shelter each other (as Mary Pipher so eloquently explores) and support each other in the journey into the world. Preparing to take part, to have influence upon while at the same time being influenced by reality.

We can do this by developing a family culture which embraces the world but also sees the world as a work in progress or a project; a project that we can influence. We are in the end co creators of our reality.

Surf's Up!