Co-Parenting

Co-Parenting by the way was a hot concept a few years ago. Doesn't seem to get as much press lately (or maybe I'm not paying attention). Co-parenting is the process by which divorced or separated parents become an effective parenting team. Either resolving old issues in order to work together as parents or putting unresolved issues aside for the same purpose. I get cynical about divorced parents from time to time but when I think about it I am impressed by how many divorced parents I meet or work with who are in the co-parenting mode. I've met many divorced parents over the years who are actually better friends with each other post divorce. When I meet these parents I heap praise upon them. Whether they had it in mind or not, they are doing a huge favor for their children by treating each other kindly, equally and even lovingly.

These parents get it, either consciously or subconsciously, that how they treat each other, talk to and about each other, has a direct link to how their children perceive their place in the family, their connection to mom and dad and their sense of self esteem.

For parents who are seeking to get into the co-parenting process the first step is to talk about it. It may help to have a family therapist or mediator involved but it's not absolutely necessary as long as there is a desire. The only assumption one need make is that the other parent loves the kids and wants what's best for them. It also helps to not view the process as an opportunity to fix or resolve all the old issues.

The best book I've seen on Co-Parenting is the classic: FAMILIES APART: 10 Keys to Successful Co-Parenting by Melinda Blau. Still available on Amazon.com by the way.