Just to be clear, I am only a guy. I happen to be a family counselor and a husband and a father. I am no better or worse than anyone reading this blog. These are simply thoughts I have as I conduct my work and my life. So take everything written here with that in mind and a grain of salt from time to time.
For those of us who celebrate Christmas we are now in the post Christmas blues....only made worse by the very real economic blues hitting our nation and the world in general. It's like a sugar low, after a sugar high. Christmas, despite our best efforts as families and individuals, is very materialistic (and has been for as long as I can remember). There is no getting around it. To what ever degree we try to maintain a spiritual focus during this time of year (regardless of your tradition), that is overwhelmed by the material expectations of the season. I think most of us succumb. We are practically told that to be good citizens we need to be good consumers. And most of us, myself include, comply with this not so subtle suggestion.
So the new year brings an opportunity and not just to come up with another list of things we are going to do better (the usual set of self improvement agenda items). The opportunity we all have as parents is to take time out and be, with a capital 'B', with our children. Play that board game they got from santa, teach them how to play 'go fish', go for a hike around the local lake, go have a picnic, get out the arts and crafts stuff one of your little ones got and create art with your kids. Be with them, laugh with them, turn the tv off, put the nano down (this is particularly hard for me sometimes), enjoy their expressions, questions, observations without worrying about anything else.
The other day my daughter asked me to play 'Snakes and Ladders (like chutes and ladders, but with snakes). Initially I frowned to myself but then I decided to fully embrace this moment. Now Snakes and Ladders is an awful game. It's very monotonous and is designed to go on and on. But I wasn't there to play the game per se, I was there to watch my daughter, who is 5, play the game. Along the way she said a lot of interesting things, some of them hilarious, and I just didn't worry about how asinine the game is. What is really hilarious was that after about 30 minutes she tired of the game herself and asked if we could quit. The more time I can spend like that with my kids the more leverage I will have when I have to discipline or correct them. It's like filling up the tank and it is its own reward.
Happy New Year.
For those of us who celebrate Christmas we are now in the post Christmas blues....only made worse by the very real economic blues hitting our nation and the world in general. It's like a sugar low, after a sugar high. Christmas, despite our best efforts as families and individuals, is very materialistic (and has been for as long as I can remember). There is no getting around it. To what ever degree we try to maintain a spiritual focus during this time of year (regardless of your tradition), that is overwhelmed by the material expectations of the season. I think most of us succumb. We are practically told that to be good citizens we need to be good consumers. And most of us, myself include, comply with this not so subtle suggestion.
So the new year brings an opportunity and not just to come up with another list of things we are going to do better (the usual set of self improvement agenda items). The opportunity we all have as parents is to take time out and be, with a capital 'B', with our children. Play that board game they got from santa, teach them how to play 'go fish', go for a hike around the local lake, go have a picnic, get out the arts and crafts stuff one of your little ones got and create art with your kids. Be with them, laugh with them, turn the tv off, put the nano down (this is particularly hard for me sometimes), enjoy their expressions, questions, observations without worrying about anything else.
The other day my daughter asked me to play 'Snakes and Ladders (like chutes and ladders, but with snakes). Initially I frowned to myself but then I decided to fully embrace this moment. Now Snakes and Ladders is an awful game. It's very monotonous and is designed to go on and on. But I wasn't there to play the game per se, I was there to watch my daughter, who is 5, play the game. Along the way she said a lot of interesting things, some of them hilarious, and I just didn't worry about how asinine the game is. What is really hilarious was that after about 30 minutes she tired of the game herself and asked if we could quit. The more time I can spend like that with my kids the more leverage I will have when I have to discipline or correct them. It's like filling up the tank and it is its own reward.
Happy New Year.
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